Dreaming again... morning of the 23rd

So real.
So deep.
The feeling of movies that play while you sleep.
Some thing untold
Something almost forgotten.
Things that keep creeping up on me
The ideas
The circumstances long gone
Memory in reminder of where we came from
the call to love.
Love is an interesting word
something that can not just be described in a few words
but takes a life to show.
Just like the Savior who took his 30+ years to give up all, in a pursuit, in a loving obedience to God who wanted to show us the love he intended.


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Caught up in a dream.
Not a hope or desire, but one of a story.
Riding on the back, you came back.
All along all the past years of circumstances that just continued hinting of other things.
Where are you now, I know not.
What you think now, I know not.
Once you let it beyond personal, it just gets stuck in a mess.
A journey, a ride to the furthest parts that the sky tries to hide.
Washed out with a thoughtful mess inside.
I am worried.
Even thought we are told not to worry.
All the things in the past, present, or before me,
things we learn are already planned perfectly.
So why mess, why regret, why worry.
I guess the knowledge inside me conflicts with the feelings that guide me.
No, hopefully more than a feeling or thought.
Dazzled. Amazed, I am to weak to worry. Lord by my ever present Father and His ever present strength. Let him see you.
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Part two ,
stuck and confused, thinking of all the messes I've created.
Was it me?
Truthfully,
it might not have been but the giving way to the sin inside me.
I can not stand. nor understand, the craziness of the circumstances.
How a sticky stand begins to land all sorts of things that fly,
---around.
Birds of all feather smart, beautiful, quick
the smell of the Father's essence attracts them to it.
But the reality of what is close, the purification process continued
of a perl that still is a piece of sand,
sand stuck in the mouth of a clam,
not beautiful until it is refined over years on end.
Not valuable unless all that work that has been put in produces,
a product deemed beautiful.
Then the clam lets go and sacrifices the pearl that it worked hard to
cultivate.
But right now, a pearl you do not see, but a simple piece of sand being pressed,
being cleaned, being added into something of more beauty.
Just like clay in my Potters hand. <3 p="">Love so amazing.