October21,2012--Thankful day

I am so thankful for today. For the air that I breathed to the last word that I will say for tonight. I am thankful for today.
I got to celebrate and worship God with other brothers and sisters!!
It felt soo good!! There were several times in the service that I was about to cry, because I was so happy and overwhelmed by joy.
I am so thankful for today!
I got my reports done and need to sleep early to be well rested for tomorrow.
I am so thankful for today!
Yurim came back :)! She came to my room and appologized, but I am so glad I got to see her and that she came to visit me even though she was tired.
I am so thankful for today!


<3 p="p">Keep thinking of so many things again.
But...
I am SO thankful for today! :)

It is so strange... I was looking at past blogs... and .. just like I did not want to go to ODU, it was honesly a similar case to Japan. I wanted to ... but I did not... I was not excited.. nor did I desire it anylonger... but I can see once again.. I know yet again.. dispite my kicking and screaming. pouting and whiny brattyness of a child, God has a greater purpose. He is the best designer, of my life, of nature, of everything... Especially time. <3 p="p">
We.. the body of believers, the Christ followers, action practicers and grace embracers.
He moves in us through his Spirit and compassion.
God of all.
God who is
LOVE
<3 br="br">

10/12/2012--RecentRunning--October14,2012

Miss. Miss Miss. Miis. Mis.
Miss things sometimes.
But I know that when I miss something I realize...
To miss is the past..
but today is the present
the presents is a gift of God
and a reminder of hope
hope for the future
hope for the plans that He has in store( GOD has plans in store)
For He is good
and because He (GOD) is good,
His plans are good
His plans are strong, the best, the most exciting
beautiful
complex/difficult
rewarding
made to give Him his due glory
Because we are unashamed
unashamed of the gospel,
His gift of life,
life which can only be lost
only be lost
to be found in Jesus Christ
our LORD
our savior
the Son of GoD
sent to the cross to resolve our sins with blood
blood that was by no means diluted or changed
blood that was real so our sins wouldn't remain-
attached.
remain--
a burden.
Why so easily do i try to pick bags up ? why do I try so hard to fill my own cup.
fill it with people
fill it with fun
fill it with what i see at the moment
or what i long for that is past?
All I know is that GOD holds the glass
holds it while he watches
holds it while he waits
holds it while he wonders --
when i make mistakes
When will she let me
let ME fill her cup?
Shall I keep waiting,
or will she even hear me if I speak up
Speak up while she is running
running in circles
sigh
I will wait
Wait till she gives up ---
her self-sufficiency
her silly pride,
when will she realize
that I am the one that has--
has what she desires deep inside.

9/9/2012----

Blleehh :(. Finished packing... well mostly. Feel so sick and tired of everything:(. Bleh, it is almost like I feel pushed out. Pushed to go to Japan, and i am about ready to run away. just get out right now and leave till my day of departure, September 14th 2012.

Happy New Year!

2012 has had a unique start, yet I am still effected from the year past. Isolation is a sentiment? I don't know, but weird thoughts come to mind as things get difficult. I am kinda sick of it. I know that this will be used for good, but right now this does not appear fruitful, and even more so in the opposite effect, dangerous. Through this I know I need to learn full dependence but right now ... i ts like a scream, from the bottom of my soul I am irritated. There is a leaf that has fluttered. It is winter and now has become cold. As the tree waits for the season to take it's toll the leaf flutters and continues to fall. It is silent and swift. It is determined and its determination begins to break as the wind directs the leaf through long and cold nights, morning, even days. Where it is heading not the leaf knows but tired it stays one. It is the product of a beautiful tree which bore its fruit of a productive year. Now the glistening green has disappeared. The color does not give the leaf it's beauty but now, the shape is full and skeletal. It is in essence the bones of the glistening green once alive. The leaf can flutter and maybe even help nourish a hunger insect but much has changed. The long journey through all terraces has tired the leaf. It needs it's sun, it needs its tree. As the Wind blow, it tries to stay whole, in one piece. But now all alone it sways. Depending only on its Wind. Its guide. Even the leaf knows though blown it will not deteriorate so fast. Blown by the Wind..........